Who fancies a fresh-start February?

Gemma had the heading nailed - but needed to work on the rest of her plan...

Oh hurray! We’ve been released from January’s cold clutches! OK… so it’s not tropical yet, but it’s definitely time to shake off the disappointment of New Year’s resolutions and find a fresh way to improve your quality of life.

Want to know how I do this with my clients? Oh go on then, I’m feeling generous and would love to help you feel all uplifted and hopeful… but first you need to pull your grown-up pants on, as we’ll start with a healthy dollop of gritty awareness. This will give you the motivation to make changes… and keep your resolve going all the way through February and beyond.

Grab a piece of paper (if you’re old school like me) or something you can scribble on electronically and write down these headings:

• Purpose

• Health

• Identity

• Headspace

Does one make your gut go twang? Then that’s where you start.

If all of them make you feel slightly queasy, then just work your way through all four, asking yourself these questions - followed by ‘how’, ‘why’ or ‘why not’:

Purpose

• Are you lacking motivation?

• Are you on autopilot at work or at home?

• Are you not sure you’re making the most of your life?

Health

• Are you stuck in unhealthy patterns of behaviour?

• Are you resigned to feeling tired and unhealthy?

• Are you stuck in your head rather than using your body?

Identity

• Have you lost yourself somewhere along the way?

• Is your status and pride attached to what you do and not who you are?

• Are you sad you’ve lost the younger or pre-children version of yourself?

Headspace

• Do you have time to breathe?

• Are you juggling like mad and feel there’s still not enough time?

• Is it a long time since you lost yourself in a hobby?

This is where you have the option to pause.

You can let all the valuable information you’ve unearthed percolate in your head - and then see what floats on the top (I’m writing this in a café, so a coffee metaphor came to mind).

OR you can choose to crack on and make a plan.

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You’re still with me… so I take it you’re feeling frisky and want to take action. I like it.

Let’s continue.

You may now have a list of stuff to tackle. These could be new bugbears, but it’s more likely that they’re issues that have been lurking for a while. Fear not my friend if you feel a bit gloomy and overwhelmed at this point. That’s normal.

It may help to think of this as an emotional spring clean - the sun is starting to come out and you need to clear all the mess from your mental cupboards before you can start to dejunk, get your Jif out and then put everything back in a much cleaner, tidier way. (But don’t worry, no cream cleaner is needed for this process).

So you have your list of answers to the questions. All you need to do now is pick three things you want to tackle.

Have you got them? Fantastic.

Now you’re going to narrow your action plan down to just one of them.

Fret not. Your list of annoyances is still there and you can go back to it anytime you like for your next move. But right now we’re going to just focus on one issue you want to shift RIGHT NOW and you’re going to put all your energy into it.

Let’s flesh this out with an example:

HABIT: Snacking in the evening.

ACTION: Watch a succession of mindless TV, feel peckish and clean out the contents of the snack cupboard. Go to bed with an uncomfortably full stomach and wake up feeling sluggish, tired and dehydrated from all the sugar and salt.

BELIEF: I won’t crack this and will never be as healthy or streamlined as I want to be.

Now flip it. Think of the polar opposite.

What’s possible if you change the way you behave and believe?

HABIT: Taking care of myself in the evening.

ACTION: Don’t eat after 8pm. Make myself a satisfying meal and then choose to read, watch TV that I really enjoy, have a bath or do word games (I flipping love Spelling Bee). Take my makeup off and go to bed on time. Wake up refreshed and feeling smug.

BELIEF: I take brilliant care of myself and every day I get healthier and slinkier.

Go on. Have a go. Make both examples as vivid as you can. Wake yourself up to your behaviour. Create concrete action that will turn your technicolour dream into reality.

Final important piece of the puzzle. Commit to a month. Or a week. Then take stock again. What’s working? What’s not. Have you made your pictures vivid enough? Are the consequences important enough? Are there any other limiting beliefs standing in your way?

I’d love to know how you get on. Let me know at jen@feelbrilliant.today